Posted by: eaubeauhorn | October 3, 2012

House Dream

I was in a house that I used to live in and that I still owned. I went in it searching for something I needed. I went in a door and saw that the alarm system was completely gone, then realized it was on a different door; however when I rushed over to that door to shut off the alarm system, it did not go off. As I wandered through the house I saw there was much less there, in the way of furniture, and then I remembered that I was a landlord now and someone else lived there. Although they apparently were not home, I started calling out “Hello!” and then came across two women in the bedroom. I started apologizing profusely for having come in without informing them ahead of time, and then tried to remember what I had come there for. They weren’t upset with me and we got into some conversations. I recognized a book case that was from my family when I was growing up, that I had left for them to use. No particular attachment, just recognition. In the end I couldn’t remember what I had gone there for and went outside. But my car wasn’t there, and I figured it had been stolen. I noted that at least my purse had not been in the car. I just stood there a while and then the women came out and I noticed I was on a different street, that I had gone through someone’s back yard and out to their street instead of mine. I was heading back to where my car was parked when I woke up. Cars, for me, generally represent my body when I am in the dream state or out of body.

For me, houses generally represent states of consciousness. In this house, basically I had left it behind but a few things of mine were still there even though someone else was living there. The house was clean and had much less stuff in it than when I had lived there. And the people were nice despite my intrusion.

In real life, I’ve had to abandon my house because of water damage that resulted in microbial growth that made me extremely ill before I got a diagnosis. The house itself cannot be fixed so that it will be safe for me to live in, because after the years-long exposure my system is so sensitized to the mold that is there, that I cannot even go inside that house, and also react to “any” building at this point, forcing me to live essentially outside. I just, finally, reached a point where I’m angry at the house (as opposed to mourning it tearfully) for doing to me what it did. This will allow me to move on emotionally. I also am trying to buy some acreage to build a new, safe-from-water-damage, house. The response to my counter-offer was due last evening by 8 PM but I did not hear from my agent yet, so “new house stuff” is on my mind.
I’m particularly wondering what the alarm system is a symbol of; just after entering the house I see a blank wall where I think the alarm system is; then I realize I’ve gone in a different door and the key pad is on a nearby door; I see that the system is armed, and the light blinks when I walk in front of the sensor to get to the key pad, but the alarm does not go off. I also realize that there is at least one other un-alarmed door to the house. It seems that entry to my house is much less protected than it used to be. My real life house, the one I am angry at, has an alarm system and is extremely well protected. Despite all my efforts at being safe in the house, I was not, in fact, I was the opposite since the house caused me severe permanent damage.

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