Posted by: eaubeauhorn | June 23, 2008

My teacher

Progress is so slow; it appears to go in millimeters but I have to accept that this is my rate given where I am.

Work has been a tremendous burden the last couple of months, with a huge project not working and having to be started over numerous times because of flaws that I found in it. Sort of like doing a dissertation….if you get part of the theory wrong, you have to start over and do all the work again with the modification to the theory. So I have not been doing any drumming and have not had even many insightful dreams; all has been work, even weekends, because of deadline pressure.

But two nights ago as I was again trying to shut up my brain enough so that I could sleep, it occurred to me that I should drum. So at 11 PM or whatever it was I got my drum and sat crosslegged on the bed in the dark. As I started to drum and went immediately to my Garden, a wave of peace flooded over me. It was such a relief to be there! I perused my garden, noted that some flowers that had been there were no longer blooming but were just tall green plants, sort of like irises when they are not flowering. Not bad, not wonderful. Then I saw my Garden Guardian, a native American whose tribe I don’t know (yet.) Then I thought of making some kind of dwelling place to sleep in, and a teepee appeared; incongruous, because the location of my Garden is sort of northwest coast USA…and there were no teepees there. But there it was, a very standard-looking Plains Indian type of teepee. It was white, but the rest was as expected. Inside there was a bed of furs for me to lie on, and a fire circle in the middle, surrounded by rocks. And my Guardian was inside too. As I looked about I realized that he was not just a Guardian….he was a medicine man, a shaman, with many bundles and tools of his trade in the teepee. I further realized that he had answered my request, some time ago, to be a Helper. The only thing that has been missing, and is still missing, is my own ability to perceive his presence, help, and communication.

Millimeter steps are better than no steps.

With gratitude to my Guardian, Helper, and Friend, and my Aloha to all.



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